Monday, May 01, 2006

help me

Today I RSVP'd for a gala next Wednesday that says, on the invitation, "cocktail attire." First of all, I don't know who wears cocktail dresses at 6:30 on a work night. But anyway. Is the dress at left (a) not enough dress for an event at which I will be, like, meeting sources and acting semi-professional; (b) not really enough dress, but can be rescued with some kind of wrap/jacket [suggestions, please]; (c) might have been enough dress five years ago when I bought it, but the addition of another 10 or 15 pounds has rendered it, er, unfit? Also, what the heck kind of undergarment am I supposed to wear with this thing?

If you chose any answer besides (b), where can I find a cocktail dress that is not too expensive, but doesn't look like it came from Target? And where can I find this dress very, very fast?

10 comments:

grrrbear said...

I think it needs something more on top - say a wrap, pashmina, or outrageous jewelry. Maybe a ginormous hat. If worse comes to worst go with a jet pack, at least it's a conversation starter.

I am wholly unqualified to answer the question about undergarments. Being a man, my initial suggestion would be "duct tape" and that's probably not the answer you're looking for.

MonkeyMom said...

Ok, A) I find it hi-larious that the first two comments were from men (although, in fairness, Miss S and I replied last night in emails)...and B) major props to Grrbear for the pashmina suggestion (spelled right and everything!). :)

P.S. The alternative to duct tape involves the words "long-line" and "backless" :)

Unknown said...

I second the garish hat suggestion. Or maybe something in a feathered boa.

I re-read this comment, and now I think you'll think I mean either (1) that you should take attention away from the hideous dress with a hat or (2) it looks like something a hooker would wear. Even though they're not what I meant, I choose not to delete the comment anyway. What do I know? I just learned to wear brown shoes with gray pants.

Stacey Pelika said...

If you want some coverage, a wrap is the way to go. As for undergarments, you might be able to use those stick-on dealies, depending on your size...or yes, they do have garments that have very low backs but still support you up there.

I think the dress looks nice, though.

towwas said...

Basso, you *are* going to get in trouble. Because all the comments get e-mailed directly to me, whether you delete them or not! Bwah hah hah hah hahhhhh! [evil laugh]

J.Po said...

Dude. I totally missed decision time, didn't I? Poop. Or maybe not. In any case, I feel okay since you've received such marvelous advice.

My two cents:
- Dress is hot and you probably wear it better now than then!
- pashmina - good thinking! I also happen to sortof like those shoulder-covering faux fur things. When they're subtle, they're cute.
-And my tip for all gals out there: I've discovered that I like those downstairs slimmers that look like bike shorts and not so much like gramma's gurdle. It's a perfect way to smooth the waves AND wear strappy sandles.

MonkeyMom said...

"...smooth the waves..."

*snork*

That rocks, J.Po

joy said...

I'd just like to say as an objective stranger that despite the 10-15 pounds you put on, you have a lovely figure.

Sounds like you don't have a little black dress. Considering all the outings you have coming up, you may want to consider investing in one. Get a classic style that you can dress up or down, depending on the occasion, and create several different looks depending on jewelry and shoes. Something simple from J. Crew or Banana Republic can be quite versatile and worn for years and years.

P.S. Regarding undergarments...if I want a very smooth line, I go commando on the bottom or a wear a barely-there thong. (Make sure it doesn't squish on the sides and give weird lumps.) For the top, you probably want to invest in a good strapless bra in nude (it can be worn with white and black and every color in between). For those low-backed dresses, don't buy a special bra, use pasties if you have perky boobs or tape them up if you need/want a little lift/cleavage. Here are directions for taping.

Good luck!

joy said...

Oh, one last thing on taping. From personal experience, use medical/athletic tape, NOT duct tape or packing tape. (Athletic tape usually comes in skin colors, too. Nice for black dresses when you don't want to risk white medical tape showing through.)

towwas said...

Look, a random stranger dropped in to offer advice! And it was good advice, too. Hm. Let's hope random strangers drop by more often, because they appear to be useful. I actually bought a new dress, but it is a completely non-versatile white with black flowers on it. I'll post a picture eventually. Tall L picked it out. She's the bomb.