free

My job, on occasion, kind of rocks. Look at the treasures I have obtained from the free pile already this week:

Yes, that's right, a tape of Mariah Carey videos. I know I'm sacrificing what puny shreds of hipster cred I had managed to scratch out in this little corner of the internet, but here goes: I kind of like Mariah Carey.

And this book? Is hilarious. She had the good sense to hire a ghostwriter with a sense of humor (and to credit him on the back of the book, so I can hire him to write my memoir). For example, #7 of "My Instructions on How to Be an Heiress:"

Always tell everyone what they want to hear. Then do what you want. That way no one ever gets mad at you. They get very confused, then blame it on themselves. If anyone confronts you, smile sweetly and act coyly. Particularly with guys. And bosses. Try not to have bosses if you can avoid them. Or have your manager deal with them.

I can't wait to see what else appears on the free pile this week....